Reflective Language for the coach
Language that reflects back the coachee’s own words is a win-win formula for success. This is called Reflective Language[1]. The coach does not use up mental activity in interpreting, but listens exquisitely - and the coachee does not have to detach from their ‘learning experience’ in order to worry about the meaning of the words (semantics) that the coach is using.
Reflective Language is very standard and used by all the best coaches I know.
The language is designed to help the coachee stay deeply in their discovery process. The words that they express are reflected back as perfectly as possible, so they do not need to translate them. It is like a keyhole that lets words (the key) out and then I insert my key (their reflected words) right back in again, without any resistance. The coachee does not notice or question the words because they are their own.
Because this process of reflective-questioning is so perfect for the keyhole, the coachee does not notice the construction of the sentences[2] either. The coachee is able to stay with their own evolutionary thinking and discovery.
[1] McLeod (2007) Self-coaching Leadership, John Wiley, Chichester & NY.
[2] A systematic approach is that of Symbolic Modeling identified in the excellent and effective work of Penny Tompkins and James Lawley
